This is a comedy/drama story that alludes to the 2015 TV show, The Last Man on Earth.
My name is Matt Doyle, I've lived in Cincinnati with my mom, dad, and my dog, Rooster my whole life. I was fast asleep one morning with my dog laying in my bed, like always. Then my windup clock started ringing, I woke up and the power was out. Huh, that's strange.. I thought to myself.
"Mom, Dad, the power's out!" I yelled, but there was no answer. I looked in Mom and Dad's room and they weren't sleeping in there. Then I got up and looked around the neighborhood and there were no people in sight. Everybody had left. The only thing I knew that was still alive was my dog, Rooster.
"Where the heck did everybody go?" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was very frightened because I had never seen anything like this. Usually there are people all over the city, driving, talking on cell phones, and sometimes even jogging. I guess I have to rough it, being the only person in Cincinnati. Rooster was freaking out, you could tell he was worried because he was used to being with Mom and Dad.
"Come on Rooster, let's get something to eat," I told him.
So I looked in the food cabinet and got some pea soup, potato chips, and canned fruit salad. I could only eat canned food because all of the refrigerated food had gone bad since there was no electricity.
Weeks went by and there was still not another person in sight. At this point, I was so sick and tired of eating canned food, I wanted something fresh. I was also getting anxious for electricity. I went down to the hardware store, got a generator, some gas from the gas station, and fired it up.
I also got some Family Guy DVDs and a few WiiU games from WalMart to keep me busy. I played my favorite video game, Smash Bros. all the time, which made me miss having actual people to play with. I hadn't talked to anybody in what seemed like forever, so I pretended that the Family Guy characters were hanging out with me. I would talk to them all the time and it got to the point where they almost felt like real people. I think I even developed a crush on the sister, Meg because I hadn't seen in a girl in a long time. I know she's not real, but still. If there is still a girl left on Earth somewhere, I would like her to be nice, kind, Christian, and like animals, because I'm definetly keeping Rooster. I don't care how pretty she is because to me, looks don't matter, personality does.
One day, Rooster and I took a walk at the park and I saw the coolest thing. It was a little female dog. She was a cute, white, fluffy shih-tzu. I slapped myself because I thought at first that I was hallucinating. Okay, maybe I've been out in the sun a little too long, I thought. Rooster then walked up to the dog and started sniffing it. I guess I'm not crazy after all.
"You know what this means, Rooster?" I asked him. "You just got a girlfriend." So I took the dog home with me.
A few months later, I woke up and heard some high-pitched barking coming from the backyard. I thought the dog was hurt, so I jumped up out of bed scared. It turns out she was having puppies. Rooster just became a dad! Whew, good thing I didn't get him neutered.
The puppies were cute little beagle shih-tzu mixes or Shibeagles as I call them. A tear came to my eye, seeing puppies born for the first time in my life. I took the puppies inside and made a cozy bed for them and their mother. This meant that I officially had some responsibility to care for eight little Shibeagle puppies. Every night, their mom would feed them fresh milk. Until they got older and I had to feed them dog food. I had to go to the store constantly because I would always run out. I would go outside and play fetch with them and train them to be nice little doggies. It was so much fun to go through the puppy stage. Until six months passed and they were full grown Shibeagles.
It felt kind of weird having to share the house with ten full grown dogs, but I was okay with it after a while. I was still very depressed, though, because as fun as it was to have dogs, I still missed my friends and family. I would think of Mom and Dad and cry. It is really hard having the people you love just disappear for no good reason.
I went back to the video game store and got a video game called The Sims, where you get to make virtual people. The first thing I did was make Mom, Dad, my grandparents, Aunt Shelley, Uncle Brian, and my cousins, Michael and Zach. I was so happy to be able to see them again. But after hours of playing the game, reality set in and it made me miss my actual famliy even more. I started looking at pictures of my friends and family and cried.
That night I prayed and said, "Dear God, please put one more person in my life. You blessed me a lot with these dogs, could you please do the same with a person? Maybe a girl, perhaps? Please give me someone special. In Jesus's name, amen." I had a hard time sleeping because I was very sad.
That morning, I heard a knock on the door. I always sleep in my Pikachu underwear so I thought, Oh crap, I better get some pants on. So I put on some jeans and answered the door. A pretty, redheaded girl was standing there. "Hi, my name is Tina Griffin. What's yours?" she asked. I liked her already.
"I'm Matthew Doyle. Are you lost?" I asked her.
"No, I've been looking for another person for months and months. God has really blessed me to find you," she said.
"Why don't you come and have some dry cereal. I know it's not the same, but all the milk in the world is spoiled," I told her.
"Sure, I would love that!" We sat together, eating cereal and watching Family Guy.
"Wow, that show is really funny," she said. "You know what's even funnier?" she asked.
"Bob's Burgers!" we both said at the same time.
"Wow, you like Bob's Burgers too?" I asked Tina.
"Uh-huh, that Louise girl is hilarious. I used to be friends with the voice actor, Kristen Schaal."
"No way, that's AWESOME!"
"She and I used to be friends, but now everyone on Earth seems to be missing."
"Why don't you stay here and make yourself comfortable. I've got some cute little dogs, but don't worry, they don't bite." I told her.
"Wow, you would really do that for me? You're really nice," she said.
Then I made her a special chicken noodle soup, cranberry sauce, and tater tots meal to celebrate, because as Napoelon Dynamite once said, I've got to have my tots!
I told her about all of the fun things I've done in my past from going to the zoo to meeting Farscape star, Gigi Edgley and she told me about her life. Her mom and dad were video game designers at Nintendo and helped name the original 150 Pokemon. They also developed several characters for Smash Bros. and they were the whole reason that Wii was moddable. She also used to go to school at The Cincinnati Junior High School which is where my old friend, Brody Bogart went. He and I did everything from eating Twinkies to playing arcade games. It would sure be nice to see that dude again.
I was so super excited to meet another person on Earth, especially one that is so similiar to me, I'm sure we're going to be dating soon. A few nights later Tina and I talked. She told me she's in love with me. , I said I'm in love with her, too. God really has given us the perfect family. A boy, a girl, and nine little Shibeagles, it doesn't get better then that. That morning, I told her that since nobody else is here, I am going to be the preacher at the Cincinnati Church of Christ. She thought that was a good idea because she missed going to church almost as much as I did.
That morning, I went into the church, changed the sign from Closed to Open, got down the Bible, and read some verses to Tina, Rooster, and the other little dogs.
After church, I thought of something. I still haven't given Rooster's girlfriend a name. So I named her Angel, because she likes to hang out in church. Plus, it was on Lilo & Stitch, which makes it even cooler.
That night, we were watching Family Guy and I pointed to Meg and said,
"That's my ex-girlfriend!"
"I know how you feel, Matt. When I was little, I liked the Disney version of Robin Hood," she said.
"Yeah, he's a fox. Get it?" I said.
"Why aren't you laughing?" I asked, but the only reply was silence.
Then I also said that because there is nobody to run the city, I am going to be the mayor of Cincinatti. But when I do that, I'm going to dress up as an old man and be Mayor Mcgee. Tina thought that idea was really funny and decided that she will dress up as an old lady and be Mrs. Mcgee. That night, I was cleaning out junk in my room and found a DVD of all of my homemade videos on it.
"Tina, how would you like it if we watched some of my homemade YouTube sketches?" I asked her.
"That sounds great. I haven't seen YouTube in forever," she said and we popped in the DVD and cracked up at every single silly joke I did. It was so much fun to finally have a girl to be with and things are shaping up pretty well for us. Who knows what could happen next. There could be 15 other people living in the world, maybe I'll run into a monkey riding a unicycle. But the truth, is I will found out eventually.
The End
No comments:
Post a Comment