I'm bored, so why not post these stories?
ttack of the Giant Cat
A long, long time ago in 1995, there was a kid named Billy. He had a pet cat named Doozer, he named the cat after his favorite creature from Fraggle Rock. Billy and Doozer went everywhere, they played together, watched scary movies together, and one day he even got busted for taking Doozer to school with him. He was his favorite cat in the whole world. Then one day, Billy heard LOUD crying and meowing, he went to the back of his house and saw Doozer having kittens.
"I guess he's not a male after all, I know I should've named her Mokey," Billy said and then Doozer had a litter of five kittens. One of the kittens was SO cute. He decided to keep her and name her Spot. The kittens grew and grew and got bigger and bigger until months later, they were full grown cats. One day, Billy was taking Spot and her sister, Wocky for a walk at the park when all of a sudden he saw a UFO.
"Oh no, what is that scary spaceship thing?" Billy asked and the UFO took poor little Spot into space. Billy was depressed for days because he hadn't seen Spot for a long time. He put up signs that said "Missing Cat," all over the town. One night, Billy was crying himself to sleep when he heard "CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!" he looked out the window and saw a giant mutated cat, it was Spot! Spot looked into his window and said,
"Hi my name is Spot. Thank you for raising me to be a good girl," she said.
"Wait a minute. You can talk?" Billy asked Spot.
"No, not all the time, just now because I've been mutated by toxic waste," Spot told Billy.
"You wanna ride on my back?" Spot asked.
"Sure," Billy said and he rode the cat all over the town. People were running and screaming in terror from seeing a large cat chasing them. One lady even yelled,
"Oh no! It's a Cat-Tastrophe,"
Then Billy and Spot stopped at Bob's Burgers to get a bite to eat. Billy ate his favorite burger the Mustard and Cat-Sup Burger and Spot ate a Fish Sandwich. After hours of cat-riding adventures, he dropped Spot off at home and she said,
"If you want me to turn into a cute little kitten again. You must yell MEELA KUNIS!"
"Why?" Billy asked.
"Because the aliens programmed me with that phrase. Now please do it, I miss my brothers and sisters," Spot said and he looked up at the sky and shouted "MEELA KUNIS!" and then Spot turned back into a cute little kitten. That night, Billy and Spot stayed up and late and watched the SNL Halloween Special.
Willy the Wombat's Halloween
Everybody knows who Sonic the Hedgehog is, but very few people know about another 1990s game character, Willy the Wombat. Willy is the exact opposite of Sonic. He's not fast, he's not a good fighter, and he's not owned by SEGA, he's owned by SEGA'S little known rival, AGES. One Fall morning, Willy woke up and it was his favorite holiday, Halloween. He was going to dress up as Crash Bandicoot and go trick-or-treating in his town, the Mushroom Hill Zone. At school, he couldn't even pay attention because he was dreaming about Halloween. Since Halloween was on a Friday, he could stay up late and watch Treehouse of Horror episodes. It would be his dream come true. At lunch, Willy's best friend, Perry the Porcupine decided to play a prank on him. He replaced the spaghetti sauce on his spaghetti with fake blood and his meatballs with eyeballs. Willy opened up his lunchbag and said,
"I can't wait for some good Italian food. That's right, My dad makes better spaghetti than Mario," and he opened it up, saw the gory prank, and screamed. The janitor then ran up to him and said,
"What happened? Are you okay?"
"My, my spaghetti," Willy said.
"It's just a prank. Okay, I mean think about. It is TRICK or treat, they do give you the option," the janitor said to Willy and then Willy thought of a devious idea. To do the worst prank ever.
"Oh it's on like Donkey Kong!" Willy thought to himself as he took a bite out of an eyeball. After school, he went up to his treehouse and got on a vampire mask. When Perry and all the other kids were out trick-or-treating, Willy said "It's showtime!" in his best Snake impression and jumped out at Perry with the vampire mask and shouted
"RAWWRRR!"
"Oh no," Perry said.
"It's that Dracula guy from Sesame Street who goes like 1, 2, 3,"
"You mean the guy who COUNTS?" Willy asked Perry.
"Yeah, that guy, what is his name?" Perry asked.
"I'm not The Count, I'm a real scary vampire who's here to suck your blood," Willy told him and Perry ran off scared. He then called up his parents and hid behind a garbage dump until they came.
"Whew, I think I'm safe," Perry said.
Then the vampire came behind him and said,
"I'm here to kill you!" and Perry ran off screaming. But then, just in time, his parents showed up and took off Willy's mask.
"Wait a minute, that's not a vampire, that's your best friend, Willy" he said.
"Yeah, and I would've gotten away with if it, if it weren't for you meddling adults," he said.
Harry Monster's Date
In the year 2010, in a haunted house there was a monster named Harry Monster who loved to sit down and read Monster Mash magazines. He has no relation to Harry Monster from Sesame Street but is a green, furry monster with three eyes and a horn on his head. Harry was a lonely monster who always dreamed of having a girlfriend, but he was awkward around girls. So one day, Harry decided to join an online dating side. The first girl he met was a blue blob monster named Samantha. Over the website he said to her,
"As Ash Ketchum once said to Pikachu, I choose you! As my girlfriend, that is"
"Awh, that's so sweet. How'd you know I like Pokemon?" she asked.
"Well, your dating profile had a picture of Jigglypuff on it, let me say that much," Harry said.
"Would you like to meet up at Frankenstein's Diner," she asked.
"Let's go!" Harry said. Harry then drove to Frank's Diner and sat at a table waiting for his girl when all of a sudden he saw her.
"I didn't know you looked like B.O.B from Monsters vs. Aliens," Harry said.
"Actually, I'm his sister," Samantha told Harry.
"Wow, that's so cool. Can I call you Sam for short?" Harry asked.
"That sounds great!" Sam said.
Then they talked about all kinds of stuff,
"Have you ever watched the new Superdogs cartoon?" Harry asked Sam.
"Yes, I have. Let's just say, it's not as good as the old ones," Sam said.
"I know right!" Willy said as he took a sip from his Groot Beer, which is Guardians of the Galaxy-themed root beer. After the date, Harry asked.
"You wanna come to my house. The Addams Family is probably on right now," Harry said.
"Sure, I'd love to!" Sam told Harry and they rode a broomstick to his house. They spent all night, watching TV and having a great time.
"I had fun! Maybe we could do this again some time?" Sam asked Harry.
"Awesome, that sounds great!" Harry said.
"I'll see you, bye!" Samantha said as she drove home.
"I bet all her friends sure as JELLY," Harry said as he laughed hard.
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